Guest post by David Satterlee

I would like to say a few nice things about the Girl Scouts.

In recent news, Bob “Cookie Monster” Morris, A conservative State Representative from Indiana, made headlines by writing in a letter that the Girl Scouts were “quickly becoming a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood” and were being “subverted in the name of liberal progressive politics and the destruction of the traditional American family values.”

There is more, but it starts to get truly ugly. The fact of the matter is that the Girl Scouts are a fine, conservative, 100-year old organization with the ambition to: “help girls develop self-confidence and good decision-making skills that will help them make wise choices in all areas of their lives.” They believe that girls deserve to be educated, informed, and involved in society – that they should be “given the opportunity to develop physically, mentally, and spiritually.”

Naturally, we have to understand that, 100 years ago, these were all radical, liberal, progressive notions. In America, women weren’t allowed the right to vote until 1920. They were often expected to remain “barefoot and pregnant” or be the “perfect housekeeper” until well into the 1950s (or even later, depending on where you live.)

The first Girls Scout meeting was organized on March 12, 1912 when Juliette Gordon Low brought eighteen girls together. One hundred years later, 2012 is “The Year of the Girl.” It is estimated that 50 million women in the United States today have been Girl Scouts.

Last year, I had occasion to take a group picture of our local troop for a newspaper feature article. They insisted that the American flag, along with their Promise and Law appear with them in the photograph that got printed. In fact, they were gutsy and assertive about that. The Girl Scout Law is: “I will do my best to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, use resources wisely, make the world a better place, and be a sister to every Girl Scout.”

So, let me just take this opportunity to make the point that Girl Scouts have earned my vote. I think that we should honor and support these traditions and values of Girl Scouts locally and nationally. And, shame on Representative Morris.

Guest post by Brenda Cornwell

Trolls. They send my mind in strange directions.

In response to my recent post on Lady Liberals of the infamous August 6th, 2001, Presidential Daily Briefing, one “critical thinker” asked “what was Bush supposed to do? Ground all airplanes?”

So as my mind began to formulate a witty, yet perfectly demeaning comment, I came up with this little scenario:

Let’s take a trip in the Lady Liberal’s Way-Back machine to April 10th, 2004. Our Way-Back machine doesn’t work very well (YOU try and find someone who can repair a Way-Back machine!) So when we go back in time, things get a little mixed up to say the least. In this trip, we find the U.S. post-9/11…and here’s the part that got mixed up…the President is Barack Obama.

Let’s listen in to the conversation on Fake News and Outrage & Friends with the three perky, blonde bombshell commentators (yeah, that part got mixed up as well!):

Brenda: Breaking news! We were just handed a declassified document that was hand-delivered to President Barack Obama on August 6, 2001. The title of the Presidential Daily Briefing is “Bin Laden Determined to Attack in the US.”

This is shocking I say. Absolutely shocking! And Mindy, you know where the President was when people were desperately trying to get his attention focused on terrorism? An imminent threat is looming and where was the President of the United States? Let me tell you where he was…he was on VACATION!

Mindy: Shameful, absolutely disgusting. I agree completely. This is an outrage. Where was this President? He was on vacation on the tax payer’s dime. He couldn’t be bothered to fly back to Washington and deal with this warning! This is an unimaginable failure! This is beyond the pale. Over 3,000 Americans died on 9/11 and now we find out the President was TOLD it was going to happen!

Carla: I’m reading directly from the PDB now: ‘FBI information since that time indicates patterns of suspicious activity in this country consistent with preparations for hijackings or other types of attacks, including recent surveillance of federal buildings in New York.’ And they told us…and I quote the National Security Advisor here: “I don’t think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center”

Mindy: OMG! Who could have imagined? Apparently someone could imagine it! Are these people insane?

Brenda: They knew that Al Qaida operatives were in the United States and this administration did nothing? NOTHING!

Carla: And there is a report out there that President Obama’s reaction…this is stunning folks, I hope you are sitting down…President Obama’s response to this PDB was ‘All right. You’ve covered your ass now.’

Mindy: I am just sick to my stomach at the inability of this President to keep this country safe. 3,000 lives lost because of incompetence. Congress will be starting impeachment hearings soon, count on it.

Carla: Impeachment? He should be tried for treason. We will be right back with more on this breaking news story, stay with us folks. It’s going to get a lot worse for this ridiculous excuse of a leader.

Of course none of that happened now did it? But I think you get the picture. Go ahead…someone…tell me to “get over it.”

Guest post by Brenda Cornwell

The newly signed North Carolina Motorcycle Safety bill reads in part:

“A person who causes a motorcycle operator to change travel lanes or leave that portion of any public street or highway designated as travel lanes shall be responsible for an infraction and shall be assessed a fine of not less than two hundred dollars ($200.00). A person who violates subsection (a) of this section that results in a crash causing property damage or personal injury to a motorcycle operator or passenger shall be responsible for an infraction and shall be assessed a fine of not less than five hundred dollars.”

Subsection ridiculous:

Unless of course that motorcycle rider happens to be female and might reasonably be considered to be headed to a Planned Parenthood clinic, then this law cannot and will not be enforced.

OK, subsection ridiculous is my own invention but you get the point.

This is part of the verbiage of SB353 signed into law by the same North Carolina Governor McCroy who pledged NOT to sign any abortion bills. He thinks because it is a motorcycle safety bill, we are all so gullible to consider his promise to remain unbroken.

As we all know, SB353 also contains severe restrictions on access to legal abortion services in NC, including access to the morning after pill. FYI, the morning after pill is a contraceptive…NOT an abortion drug…that prevents implantation of a fertilized egg to the uterus.

So now I would like to propose my own bill to the state of NC. I will call it LL19. (Lady Liberals 19 simply because 19 is my favorite number.)

LL19 reads as such:

Any woman in North Carolina who becomes pregnant and might seek to terminate said pregnancy is given the option to identify the sperm donor.

1. Said sperm donor must undergo a DNA test if he denies being sperm donor. Sperm donor will pay for DNA test.
2. Sperm donor is required to pay for all tests imposed upon the female by SB353.
3. Sperm donor is required to undergo a minimum of 4 hours of training in sex education and STD and is required to demonstrate the ability to put on a condom to a licensed physician.
4. A married sperm donor that had been determined to be donating to someone other than his lawful wife will be registered with the state of North Carolina as a serial sperm donor.
5. Any sperm donor that has been identified as a serial sperm donor or any sperm donor that does not comply with the law will be required to undergo a vasectomy.
   1. Amend section 5) to include any sperm donor (found guilty by a court of law) to have donated to a female forcibly or against her will.

If I fail in my quest to get LL19 passed and signed by the governor, my fall back plan is to open a burqa shop in Raleigh, NC. (I’ll be needing a few investors if you know of any.)